When You Can’t Figure Out Your Path or Purpose, Remember This

In our culture, we're obsessed with finding answers and reaching conclusions because it feels more safe and comfortable. But the unknown is actually freedom.
January 25, 2020

When You Can’t Figure Out Your Path or Purpose, Remember This

Do you feel like you’re on a hamster wheel trying to figure out your career, purpose, love language, gifts, voice, or path?

If you feel trapped and worry that you may never “figure it out,” here’s a powerful reframe that I have been using and reminding myself of for years, especially when I’m frustrated for feeling “stuck” or “behind” or like I can’t get where I want to go:

“If I’m lucky, this WILL last a lifetime.”

Whether we’re trying to figure out our path, service offerings, a product, a USP, your core values, or your ideal romantic relationship, you should consider that the true gift probably isn’t the conclusion or outcome or bringing finality to the process. If the journey in life is the greatest reward, then it stands to reason that the real gift is in the actual process and journey of figuring it out, day by day.

Uncertainty is just another way to think of the freedom you have to discover what you’re looking for.

There have been many times in the last 11 years when I’ve wondered if I’d ever perfectly “figure out” my work, my business model, or how to perfectly fill my days.

Then I realized,”Isn’t NOT knowing what I want? Isn’t the uncertainty actually freedom? If I ‘don’t know,’ aren’t I actually free to figure it out however I wish?” Yes, I recognized, I want uncertainty in my life because uncertainty means I am free enough to find my path for myself.

Uncertainty and freedom are not opposites, they are two perspectives on the same idea: the unknown.

And, while we often struggle against “uncertainty” when we’re trying to “figure out” something, the uncertainty is in many ways a gift.

Because “not knowing” is the same as having the freedom and privilege of getting to decide for yourself.

About the Author

Dave Ursillo is a professional life and career coach, multi-published author, writing teacher, and future mental health counselor. He has coached over 300 professional helpers since 2012, spoken and taught workshops on 4 continents, and turned more than two dozen writers into first-time authors. His words and work have been featured on Creative Live, Psychology Today, Forbes, INC, The Hindustan Times, and beyond.


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