The path of life is perpetually shrouded in fogs of uncertainty.
Where we are led is unpredictable – the path is always changing, our direction is always in motion. Ultimately, we are not in complete control of our lives’ direction.
To some, this realization provides relief that the burden of responsibility for life’s trajectory is not wholly our own. To others, this lack of totalitarian control and the idea that there are outside, intangible forces influencing one’s own direction, can seem truly terrifying.
My path has been shifting before me. That shroud, a heavy cloud of societal pressure and expectation, inner struggle and personal desperation, has but for a moment lifted, if only for a few steps. The shroud has settled a bit beyond my toes, just far enough for me to see that the dirt road is indeed beneath me, that I have been, and remain on, this path to both nowhere and somewhere.
It has taken some time for me to realize it, to understand it, and, lastly, to accept it. But I have puttered along in veiled darkness for long enough. With as little proof as the visual sight of the dirt under my feet, I now realize that I must be so brazen as to push on, to blaze my trail through the thickening fog, toward whatever end that lies beyond.
My nature is that of a trailblazer, a leader, a writer, a giver. A greater force is compelling this decision beyond my own control. To the minor extent that I can influence where I go from here, through fire and darkness, uncertainty, risk of failure and collapse, I will walk on.
The end goal is unclear, but seldom is the intent of our lives apparent to any but God.